While North Charleston police have been grappling with the trivial task of solving eight shootings (well, nine if you count the guy who accidentally shot himself in the foot) so far this year, Charleston police have been busy rounding up the city's most notorious criminals - Rickshaw drivers.
The rickshaw drivers' egregious crime? Giving. Illegal. Speaking. Tours.
These surreptitious speaking tours were operating completely unchecked until some South of Broad residents were brave enough to come forward and inform the authorities.
In an effort to protect the city's best (see: wealthiest) residents, the police spared no expense. According to the Post & Courier, a sting operation featuring undercover offices was created. Officers went on six total rides with the three local rickshaw companies and used hidden recording devices to ensure an iron-clad case was made against these scoundrels.
Not only are we safer, but so are our tourists. Imagine those poor souls handing over their hard-earned cash to some bicycling gangster in cargo shorts for an unsanctioned tour of our divine city. It's unthinkable!
So, please join me in thanking the Charleston police for their amazing work.
Now let's go get those kids selling sweetgrass roses without a permit!